ignorance is bliss

life has become a bit more difficult lately, ever since what will hence forth be known as "the incident." people who i thought were my friends are suddenly terrified of me. they don't understand. who am i kidding? how can i be upset with them for not understanding when i can't even understand what is happening to me? life was so much easier when i never knew what was out there.  i get that it is supposed to be an honor to be part of the chosen but is it so awful to want to go back to my old life when my biggest problem was should i go to prom or not?

at least i don't have to be alone Ian (my twin brother) is with me. but he seems excited and eager to embark on the next chapter in our lives. why can't i think like that? why don't i feel the same way? why can't i choose a world to fit into? all i want is for time to stop and for me to be able to travel back to a time when i had no idea what was really out there. to be able to think that the things that go bump in the night weren't real. to not have this great responsibility suddenly thrust upon me. to be completely honest i don't think they chose the right girl for this.